Giving Thanks

I have been watching all of my friends and family members countdown to Thanksgiving on FB, with what they are thankful for this season.  I did not join the countdown, or up, however you want to look at it, not because I think it is silly, or because I am not thankful, but just really out of laziness...bad I know.  I do thank God every night when I tuck in my kids and say prayers with them, and when I pray at night, so He knows how blessed I feel, so luckily no guilt in this heart for not following the FB trend.

Today I read other posts that really stirred my heart towards great thankfulness.  I grew up with and went to school with a family who are just waiting for a loved one to pass away because of the damage due to her brain from a stroke she suffered last week.  They had to make a decision between a surgery with no guarantees and a possibility of life in a nursing home, or taking out the ventilator and just waiting.  How does one just wait, watching their mom, sister, aunt, grandma leave this life and enter the next with Jesus for eternity?  I don't know the answer to that question, but I can say that as I read the families posts on FB, I am encouraged by their strength and trust in their God, who is bigger than the situation and knows everything. They are thanking God for their loved ones faith in Him and life lived for Him and His glory. They are celebrating the woman she was and that she will be remembered as.  They take comfort in those things, even though their hearts break at their loss, they know this is truly her gain, she will soon be in her loving Savior's arms.  Oh what glory that will be! Pray for this family for me.  They are strong and they will get through this, but they still are experiencing a loss, and no matter how strong, they will struggle and weep. So, life them up this Thanksgiving season, and thank our Lord for His hand on their lives and for conquering death for us all!  To the Mock family, may you truly have peace this holiday season that your loved one is in a much better place and she is smiling down on you all!

This has made me remember saying goodbye to loved ones over time. My Grandpa Johnson, my daddy, Marvin Smith, my Uncle Kevin Smith, a dear friend from college, Nick Dattilo, and many other friends and family friends over the years.  Each loss has had their impact on my life, because each person had an impact on my life.  I can honestly say that it never gets easier, but that with each experience, I can see God's hand at work in ways I thought never possible in those situations, and for that I am so thankful, I am comforted, I am positive of His sovereignty and love!

As Thanksgiving approaches, I am thankful that God knows the beginning, middle and end of each of our stories, and while I occasionally wish I knew it too, I know He has my best interest in mind and that I will only grow from all the good, bad and in between that I encounter daily.  I am thankful for all the little things, that really are big things; the beauty in each sunrise and sunset, my family and friends, my husband and his hard work to support us and desire to take care of us, my beautiful and healthy children (even when they are ornery!), my heath(even with its ups and downs), the sound of laughter, birds and rain, and the ability to worship my God, when and where I desire and how it feels natural to me!

I pray that the Mock family has a blessed Thanksgiving in spite of their loss, and that each and every person who reads this blog post will realize their blessings and thank God for them in this season, and that each heart would be touched and our faith would be renewed and our God lifted up in all that we do! Goodnight!

Heart of Behavior

Book: Shepherding a Child's Heart

Author: Tedd Tripp

Introduction

Chapter 1: Getting to the Heart of Behavior

Parenting is a hard task, given to us by God.  We are to be the authority for our children.  But we cannot forget that God has called all of his creatures, yes even the birds and giraffes, to live under His authority, so while we are to be agents of God's authority over our children, we are also at the exact same time, under God's authority!  Hard swallow...hmmm, how have I tried to not be under His authority and/or abused His authority when being that agent to my children. It makes my heart cringe and repent for that sin!

Tedd says in his book that we "may not direct your children for your own agenda or convenience.  You must direct your children on God's behalf for their good!" Whew, take a minute and reflect on that with me.  I don't like it, but I know I have severely missed this and misused my authority!!!  How many times have you told your kids to stop something, not because it was something wrong, but because you found it annoying, or  had them do something because it was convenient for you, but not necessarily for them.  I also find in what Tedd said, that I am to direct my children, DIRECT, not rule over them.  I am not just their authority, but rather their helper, the guide in this journey of life, not just someone to tell them what to do...more on this after authority.  Another hard swallow! Tedd says it more eloquently by stating that, "God calls you to exercise authority, not in making your children do what you want, but in being true servants- authorities, who lay down your lives. The purpose for your authority in the lives of your children is not to hold them under your power, but to empower them to be self-controlled people living freely under the authority of God." This makes a big impact on me, because my children are not at all learning to be self-controlled.  I say that because, when my children get mad at me, or don't like what I ask or say to them, they get really mad, sometimes to the point of throwing things, or just plain throwing hissy fits!  You have probably experienced this yourself.  Well, I can tell you that when Matt and I were working hard to shepherd our children, we saw that lack of self-control begin to wane...and I wan't that peace that came with the waning, to come back to my home!!!

Back to being a helper or guide to my children..this is what Tedd calls "shepherding".  I am supposed to shepherd my children, in order to help them understand both the what of their actions, but also the why.  I must work hard to help my children learn discernment and wisdom, not my wisdom, but God's

The most important thing that you should get out of this book is this: "THE CENTRAL FOCUS OF PARENTING IS THE GOSPEL! It is important to not simply direct a child's behavior, but the attitudes of their heart!"

Proverbs 4:23 states it like this; Above all else, guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life.

Our hearts, and especially our children's hearts, determine our behavior, what we say, do, think, and the decision we make on how to act or react.  Hmmm, so what is in my heart, your heart, our children's heart?

Mark 7:21-23 For from within, out of men's hearts, come evil thoughts, sexual immorality, theft, murder, adultery, greed, malice, deceit, lewdness, envy, slander, arrogance and folly.  All these evils come from inside a man and make a man "unclean". 

Luke 6:45 The good man brings good things out of the good stored up in his heart, and the evil man brings evil things out of the evil stored up in his heart. FOR OUT OF THE OVERFLOW OF HIS HEART HIS MOUTH SPEAKS.

What do these two verses tell us?  What your children say and do is a reflection of what is in their hearts. These Bible verses are very helpful for helping us in our goals as parents.  They help us to understand that behavior is not the main issue, but rather it is what is happening in our children's heart. 

So, lets think about the heart for a minute.  If we didn't have a heart, would we be living?  NO!  It is the reason we are living, it controls everything in our bodies, for without it, those things would not happen!  So, it is our "control center"or not only our bodies, but our lives!  Tedd writes that, "a change in behavior that does not stem from a change in the heart is not commendable; it is condemn-able." Ouch!  Here we are talking about our children, but I also want you to reflect that to your own heart, that is a powerful statement!!! 

So, if the heart is the control center of our lives and all behavior stems from the heart, then it only makes sense that discipline has to be used to address the attitude of the heart.  We need to understand our job as parents Biblically. Tedd outlines the broad sets of issues that affect our children, and says that we need to understand our children in relationship to them.

     1. The child and his relationship to the shaping influences of life.

     2. The child and his relationship to God.

I don't know about you, but for me the first time around, this was a lot to take in.  It was not how I had ever thought about parenting before, even though I had grown up in a Christian home, in church, married a Christian man, and am a follower of Christ. Parent from the Bible?  Seemed radical to me, but it makes perfect sense.  God gives us all we need in His word, and since He made us and knows we are sinners, and gave us salvation from that, why would we not first and always seek our His teachings to live by?!?!

Yes, I am using a book written by man, but it is a book that helps me to better understand the psychological state of my children in relationship to what affects them and how to use God's tool, the Bible to parent, shepherd, guide, direct, have authority in their lives, however you want to look at it!  

Stick with me, we will get to the practical breakdown or how Tedd and his wife use this is in their lives and their recommendations for us. This beginning is important though, for without the understanding of the reason the heart is important, we are not able to correctly shepherd our children as God has designed for us to!

Prayers are with you as you soak this up and as we learn more this week!  Blessings!

Goodbye Attitude!

Rolling eyes, growls, screaming, tossing things...attitude, everywhere!  That is what I have been seeing from my children A LOT lately! Even worse is the attitude it creates in Matt and I, toward each other and the children!! It never ceases to amaze me that when something like a bad attitude begins, it soon takes over everything in full force!!!  I shouldn't be surprised, that is the devil and that is how he works, he is a master at confusion, frustration and attitude!

I am stuck on how to cure us of this problem, except to keep praying and filling us all up with scripture!

I have read a lot of parenting help books (really a lot!!!) and while a lot of them have some good advice, they fail to address the problem, the true problem, which isn't the behavior, but rather the heart, our sinful nature!

Some friends of Matt and I's recommended we read yet another book...my first thought was great!, not another book, with the same worn out advice, that does not work for our family.  But then I thought about how our friends kids behave, and honestly, I would have read any amount of books they would recommend if it meant my kids would behave and have respect like their kids.

So, I borrowed the book and began reading and guess what, it wasn't the same as all the others.  In fact it really is not like any other book written by man/woman/specialist!  The only book that it is like is the one and only book we should all live by, the Bible, inspired by God!

So, what book you ask? "Shepherding a Child's Heart"by Tedd Tripp. How did it work for us?  Great, when we were following the advice and seeking God in our parenting/shepherding.  So, what happened? Well, we fell back into the yelling, screaming, anger stage of parenting, that most of us find ourselves in, because we are trying to parent and rule over our children, in order to make our lives more convenient and make our kids do what we want!

So, I am going to start re-reading the book, and re-learning how to use the only parenting book we all need in life, the Bible.  If you are a parent who is struggling with how to shepherd your children, I invite you to follow along as I write Shepherding posts, and learn along with me and work to be the best parent I can be.  I will also be recommending other resources that I found helpful in this journey, so stay tuned!

If you want to keep up on the Shepherding posts, you can subscribe to my blog and get updates when I post.  If you are following along, please leave comments and let me know if you have questions, or want to add to the learning,  For those who are following and commenting, I plan on having a giveaway of some of the resources, and possibly the book "Shepherding a Child's Heart" and it's companion parent's handbook.  So stay tuned....

From the back cover of the book..."Shepherding a Child's Heart is about how to speak to the heart of your child. The things your child does and says flows from the heart. Luke 6:45 puts it this way, "...out of the overflow of the heart the mouth speaks."(NIV) Written for parents with children of any age, this insightful book provides perspectives and procedures for shepherding your child's heart into the paths of life."

Tomorrow I will begin in Chapter 1: Getting to the Heart of Behavior. Proverbs 4:23 says, "Above all else, guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life."

Today, think about your attitude as a parent and person, is it showing what is in your heart?  Do you need God's help to guard your heart and change your attitude and how you treat yourself, your spouse, your kids, and others?  Meditate on that...I know I need to and I am ready for God to help me squash the devil and the work he is trying to accomplish in my family, he will not prevail!  See you tomorrow!!

66 Years!

Norman (Papaw), Ida Lou (Mamaw) and my cousin Justin
only recent picture I could find of my grandparents,
thanks Lisa for being the picture queen of the family!!

So, today I had to run to Bowling Green (not with my legs thankfully!!) and pick up some four wheeler parts for my hubbie! While driving up there I kept thinking that I really should drive the extra 20 minutes to go see my Smith grandparents on their farm.  But you know how it is...I had Jillian with me, she would need a nap, I needed to get back and get Garrett from school, I needed to do more laundry, and the list of things goes on and on!!!

Jillian and I stopped to eat at McDonald's....wish that place would just go poof, so I wouldn't have to look at the calorie count that is now on their menus...and then we went to Wal-Mart.  As I was walking up to the door, I thought, ok, I am going to go see my Mamaw and Papaw after I pick up the parts and I will just ask Matt to get Garrett from school.  When I looked up to go in the door, who do I see standing there?  My Mamaw and Aunt Carolyn!  I was a bit out of place, since I normally am not in Bowling Green shopping, so Mamaw had trouble placing me...she blamed age, hmmm....what is my excuse then?  Anyway, I told them I would wait in the front of the store and visit when we were all done!  Papaw and my Uncle Bob were in the car waiting, so Jillian and I would get to see them all (and without the dreaded drive, or worry about not getting nothing done!!!)  Isn't guilt a terrible thing! God took care of that for me today, He is so awesome!!

Mamaw and Papaw were as pleased as pie (can someone please tell me where that expression comes from?) to see me, but even more Jillian.  Papaw's comment was, "This little girl gets more and more beautiful each time I see her!" Makes a moms heart melt, he is such a wonderful grand/great grandparent!!!  They loved on her and we talked about happenings in life, quilts, Halloween costumes ( which I painstakingly made this year, hoping to save $$$, so wrong!), and politics.  I loved visiting with them, but what I won't forget it that today is their 66th Wedding Anniversary!  CONGRATULATIONS!

Wow, I really cannot imagine that!  You know it is one thing to think that one day I will be in my 80's, but for some reason it is hard to think that I will have been married over 60 years when I am in my 80's.  What an amazing testimony!  And their lives truly are just that.  Of course, I don't know everything about their life and marriage, but I do know that they have been through a lot more than a lot of us have or ever will.  They put their trust in God each and everyday and He has brought them through the valleys and over the mountains!

The part of my grandparents story that I know, happened 13 years ago...in a span of 20 days they lost two sons, suddenly and unexpectedly.  First was my father, Marvin, who died in an accident while working on an irrigation lake on our family farm. My dad and Papaw had farmed many years together and worked hard in the 80's so they wouldn't lose their family farm, like many did.  They probably knew what the other thought and felt about most things and could finish each other sentences (unless that is reserved only for best girl friends!) In the wake of the loss of one son, they would experience it again.  This time, it was my Uncle Kevin, who died unexpectedly.  I can remember standing at my Uncle Kevin's visitation, just stunned.  Yes, I had lost my father, much too early, and now my Uncle, and I was hurting, shocked and in disbelief, asking God, why?  But my grandparents had lost two sons in just a few days...I cannot imagine their pain.  Of course, back then I am not sure I could have even if I tried, because I myself was not yet a parent.  However, now that I have my own children, I have a little bit of an inkling as to how they must have felt...because the natural order of life should be that parents die before their children, and for them, that order had been disrupted.  Sheer pain and anguish, yet my grandparents were strong in their faith in Jesus, that he knew what He was doing and would comfort them. They were in a situation that, in generations that are younger than them, often tear marriages apart, but not theirs! I don't know if they ever asked why? or screamed at God that their circumstances were not fair and it really doesn't matter if they did or not. I can be sure that they never quit reading their Bibles, praying to their God, or giving thanks to Him in the hard times.  They are some of the most faithful people I know, and I hope that some day, I will have their wisdom and trust in God.

I also hope that Matt and I will live to see our 66th Wedding Anniversary, and if we don't, I hope that it is because Jesus returns to find us faithful and take us home with Him!

66 years, can you imagine?!?!  God is good, even in the hard times.  No matter if you are in a valley or on a mountain top, remember that God is good.  He is your Savior, your Comforter, your Friend, and He will NEVER leave you or forsake you.  He will be there for all of your days, to set you free from your doubts, pains, fears and sin.  Not just 66 years, but for eternity!  Put your trust in Him and you can make it through anything!

Happy 66th Anniversary to Norman and Ida Lou Smith, you are truly and inspiration to me and I thank God for placing me in your family, to be your forever granddaughter.  I love you so much, and I admire your strength and faith in God, thank you for being a great example to your family!

Owl Be Inspired

So one of my new loves in life is quilting.  My mother is a very talented and an award winning quilter, and her work truly inspires me.  I have made and completed two quilts from start to finish, one for each of my children.  Garrett has the quilt "Sock Monkey" and Jillian has "Sock Kitty". Each has their own personalities, just like my children, and their own stories, which I will tell on another post!

I began sewing in 4-H many, many years ago.  Making pin cushions, aprons, pillows and clothing! I still remember some of my first projects, and some of the last for 4-H. Wow, just like a child who learns to walk, and eventually is doing it so well that you cannot remember when they used to fall down or wobble...that is how my sewing in 4-H was.  I will have to find some pictures of my past projects, but I can definitely say thank you to my mom for being my sewing project leader for so many years, and others, and teaching me how to go from those first very uneven stitches, to eventually invisible zippers (for those who don't sew, no they are not really invisible, I am not that good!) and hidden hem stitches!  Without that base of knowledge learned in 4-H and at home, I would not be able to quilt.

I recently purchased a Thirty-One product from my friend Jessica, it wasn't my first and won't be my last!  However, this product is probably my favorite.  It is a little zipper pouch that has an owl print fabric on it.  I use it as a little purse, just to carry my basics, when I don't want to lug around a purse.  Surprising huh?  I know I am such a person/bag person, but I love to be set free from the purse occasionally! Ok, back on track, the owl pouch just makes me happy and screams fun!  Of course, owls are very trendy right now too, so that is a plus!  One day, I decided that I wanted to make a quilt that had owls on it.  Now, I am not talking about your grandma's traditional square blocks kind of quilt.  I mean modern, unique, like art work type of quilt!

So,"Owl Be Inspired" is finally coming into existence.  I had bought fabric at the AQS Quilt Show in Paducah, KY last spring, lots of fabric!  I have a lot of different colors and styles!  I kind of have a split personality, I love the bright and obnoxious, as well as the calm and subdued!  So, I went to my stash, because every quilter has one and you are not too young to start one!  As my mom and every other quilter on the earth likes to say, "The one who dies with the most fabric wins!" Of course, Jesus won't let me through the pearly gates carrying an arm load of fabric, but that is okay, I will just keep building that stash, like the generations before me, for fun!  So, back to my stash...owls in red and turquoise, blue and green, or orange and green and brown?  Hmmm....I chose the orange and green and brown.  Now, I know you are thinking, wow, deep rich hues of green and brown, nice and fall like.  Oh no, we are talking fun orange and green, in great prints!

A few days ago, after gathering inspiration from Pinterest on owls, I cut out, both with my Go Cutter from AccuQuilt and free hand, my first owl!

As I looked through my stash, I was shocked....I had no fabric suitable to my eye to make as the background of my "Owl Be Inspired" Quilt....ahhhhhh! Well, you would think that I could just wait and find some the next time I go to town.  Wrong....I am a creative person who is inspired and motivated....I had to find fabric NOW! So, I called my mom and told her my dilemma and asked her to meet me in town to look for the perfect fabric!!!  Of course, being a fabric stasher as well, she quickly agreed!

We visited, by far one of my favorite fabric stores around, Homestead Hearth and found the perfect teal fabric to be the background! And we oohed and ahhed over lots of fabrics and quilts.  Mom bought some great fabric for her stash and she bought my teal (she spoils me a little, okay a lot!) and some great red fabric for a skirt! Isn't that teal above, so much better than the cream!!!

This morning in the peace of a quiet home (God graciously grants me these at times!), Garrett is at school and Jillian is at daycare, I began to work on "Owl Be Inspired" and I am loving it. To the side is a picture of my free hand cut tree that will appliqued on.  My original owl is much too big (as in he would tip the tree over too big) for this quilt, so he will probably become a pillow!  Maybe I will raffle off that pillow....maybe.  I know a lot of you out there are owl freaks too, so I might bless you with that opportunity!  Maybe. (It is hard to part with works of art!)

So, as I am inspired and design my quilt, I will keep you in the know.  Just as God is constantly at work in my life, I am constantly working on my quilt, even if just in my mind.  I love to start with fresh new fabric and make something beautiful from it, much like our Savior likes to take our fresh new Christianity and make something beautiful from us, all for His glory!

As "Owl Be Inspired", I pray that you will find inspiration in something today and thank God for it, he created it or placed it in your path just to bring you joy!  How wonderful He is!

Why Set Free Weekley?

Welcome to Set Free Weekley...

So, why the weird spelling on Weekley, those who don't know me, you ask? Well, that is my last name!  Sorry, hard to remember because it is different, but maybe it will make you remember me!! This first post, I am going to just introduce myself and what my hopes for my blog will be!

Born August 28, 1981 and named Vanessa Renee Hutchinson....which everytime I think about, I think wow, wonder what life would have been like to live as a Vanessa....hmm.... No offense to Vanessa's out there, but to me the name screams dumb blonde, you know the kind.  Uh, like hi, my name is Vanessa, and like I like to, um.... Okay, so maybe not, but I think God had bigger and better plans than a dumb blonde for little Vanessa Renee.  He accomplished those plans through first, I later became a brunette!  Second, but most important, He placed me in the loving arms of my adopted but FOREVER family, the Smith's.  Luckily, my name became Rachel Jillian Smith, and to me that name has no screaming stereotypes!!! I went from foster care, to a loving home with a mom, Marilyn, a dad, Marvin, and a brother, Jason.  That is when Jesus first set me free, are you getting a glimpse into the blog title now?  Set Free Weekley....

Not only will this blog be about my new life in a new home, but a new life through Jesus, and a new life as a wife, mother, stay at home mom, lover of music, quilter, Zumba instructor, etc.  Each and every week (actually second, minute, hour, day! thank you Jesus!) I am set free from the junk of my life and this world, and this blog is going to just be the daily (if I make it to the computer that often) happenings in my life.  A place to share my inspiration, divine and otherwise, my struggles, my creations, my life!

So, Set Free Weekley.... because this Weekley is set free through Christ Jesus and is working to live that free life to the best of her ability!  I am constantly praying for God to work in me and through me, bring me wisdom, patience, understanding, and to help me grow.  Not just in the spiritual, but in everything, my motherhood, my wifehood (is that a word?), my womanhood. Join me as I grow and share and ramble!  Enjoy and may God bless you in some special way today and weekley(couldn't resist!!)